Life’s Truths

Canyon of Memories

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Hey Kids,

It’s the evening before our wedding and the start of our marriage.

The normal thing the day before, apparently, is to be nervous or anxious but I’m not. I’ve got a still cool and inner excitement instead.

At this writing, I’m sitting at a large kitchen table in a cabin located at an elevation of about 8,000 feet in Big Cottonwood Canyon, Utah- my favorite canyon in the world.FullSizeRender (2)

This canyon holds so many memories for me. My family and I have made so many trips up here over the years. I can tell a story or share a fact about most of the 17 miles of road from the mouth of the canyon to the glacier-cut bowl at the top. I know every curve of the road, every stretch of hills, and every turnout. We have been up here so many hundreds of times that I bet we border the 1000 number.

Tomorrow the ceremony will be at Silver Lake. I know this lake even better. Every part of the 1 mile trail and boardwalk holds a story of when this or that happened. Over there is where the boys scaled the rock wall. That sign over there is where Dakota slipped and cut his head just above the eyebrow. We’ve seen moose here, and here, and over there. The best place to spot the fish is on the bridge or the overlook on the other side of the lake. I can go on and on. The memories come on so thick sometimes they crowd out the mosquitoes.

Sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes I wonder why I keep coming up here. The memories attempt to mock the fact that there will be no new ones made.

But isn’t that the fact with all memories? Their entire existence is based in the past. My nest simply emptied earlier than expected and much earlier that I would have ever wanted. That’s what hurts.

Tomorrow I will start a new era of my life. A woman I love and who loves me is about to become a permanent part of it. Instead of leaving my favorite place in the world in the past with its memories, I’ve decided to continue to create new ones. Tomorrow will be a huge addition.

There will be no sadness as I gaze on the familiar rocks and trees and see the reflection of my young children. My walk around the lake with my new bride will be but another set of footprints added to the thousands I have left before and but a small example of what I hope to leave in the future.

The cool calm and the inner excitement is what I call happiness, and I seem to have plenty of that nowadays.

Especially tomorrow.

 

 

Day 221

Wedding Vows

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Hey Kids,

Wedding Vows.

The promises you make when deciding to share a life with someone else.

I’ll be honest with you, I don’t remember exactly what it was that I agreed to the first time around. I know I agreed to them at the time, that they weren’t anything I intended to ignore, and I don’t know if Mike-then could’ve come up with anything better than what was offered.

But this go around is a different story. ipromise

Getting this marriage right is absolutely necessary.

After seen one relationship have its wheels fall off and disintegrate before my eyes, I never want to experience that again. It was awful and I nearly lost everything. And I mean everything.

Although not the only one to blame, I see my part in all of it. I’ve sat in judgment of myself and took note of the deficiencies.

So this time, I’ll write my own vows. I’ll make the promises I know and understand are important.

They’ll come from the ashes.

They’ll come from a new wisdom.

They’ll come from my heart.

And what comes from the heart, I dare not put asunder.

I promise.

 

Blog 220

Find the Special

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Hey Kids,

You can always find a way to do something special.

It takes a little effort at times, but it’s possible.

My sweetie and I have been putting the final touches on our upcoming wedding this weekend. It’s not the first time for either of us so the plans aren’t as elaborate this go around. Most of the details, not including the vows, are all worked out.

The idea of getting married sprang up quickly; we had no intentions of squeezing it in before our road trip later on this month. It became the right thing to do at the right time and the plans simply started happening.

This afternoon, I got home early and started the Spaghetti sauce simmering. When my baby finally escaped her place of employment, the bowtie pasta boiled away on the stovetop. She took her quick bath and as soon as she was out and ready for dinner, I stopped her in the bedroom and said I had an important question to ask.

She looked very nervous, wondering what could be so urgent to make her wait for the delicious (if I say so myself) dinner waiting for her in the other room.

I dropped to one knee, whipped out the ring that she didn’t know I picked up on the way home, opened the lid reveling the ring angled towards her, and asked,

“Will you marry me?”Proposal

She was surprised.

And very pleased.

The proposal had been just a given and neither of us appeared to think of it as needed. If thought of at all.

Luckily she said yes and our wedding plans and dinner continued.

I didn’t have to do it, we both knew it’s what we both wanted. We’re pretty happy with each other and the lives we are sharing. The wedding is turning out to be exactly how we wanted it: simple, with close friends and family, and in the mountains.

But I didn’t want her to get married without ever being asked if she wanted to. Officially.

Other than the price of the ring, it cost me nothing and the happy look on her face was priceless.

Do something special for someone, even if it’s something simple.

Everyone deserves to feel special every once in a while.

 

Day 219

Impossible to Forget

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Hey Kids,

Is there more to come beyond after a mortal life?

Or is lifeless the sole reward for our daily strife?976-Creepycemetery

When the body finally lies still after the last breath,

Does a soul continue on, after what we call death?

Or after a life of struggle, sweat, and endless toil,

Is the body simply returned to the earth and soil?

Either way, our time is numbered and our days set.

Try not to be remembered, but impossible to forget.

 

Day 202

We’ll Always Have Lovelock

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Hey Kids,

It’s a weird, normal day today.

On one hand I’m working on a life event that is a great source of happiness for me.

On the other hand, my dad’s brother died this morning.59785496-1

I’m excited about the future, but saddened by the passing of this uncle I’ve known my entire life.

Life seems to come like that.

Highs and lows. Happiness and sadness. Excitement and disappointment.

Even within the thoughts of my uncle, I realize that next to the sadness of knowing he’s gone, I remember the memories of him when I was growing up. I hear his distinct laughter and his contagious smile. That I will never see or hear again.

In life there’s always regrets. But there are also unknown surprises.

Take life as it comes. It will come in all emotions. Nether the sad or the happy is good or bad.

It’s just life.

 

Day 201

Blaming Others

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Hey Kids,

When something is my fault, I’ll own up to it.

I expect the same from others; however, this has been a source of disappointment.Blame-300x298

I don’t believe there’s much to gain in allowing someone off the hook by erroneously shifting blame to others, including yourself. I know it might seem like a good diplomatic move, to gain trust and all. But it’s lying.

It’s as much lying as blaming someone else for your mistake.

I hate the blanket statement, “we all have part of the blame”. If it’s not true, it only means that diplomacy is more important than a solution.

So don’t look to me to accept your mistake, all or part, as my own. I’ll help try to fix it and even help guard your secret if needed; I’m all about teamwork, loyalties, and making things right without the drama.

And I’ll take my lumps for my failures.

If they’re known, of course.

I’m not an idiot.

 

Day 192

Local Tourist

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Hey Kids,

It’s so easy to forget where you live.

Maybe not your street address but exactly where you live in relation to the great things around you.

Time and routine wear a person down and the wonder of the mountains, the natural places, the parks, the historic sites, and the cool places, slip our minds.IMG_20150830_142154

Not to the point we forget they exist, but we stop thinking of going to them and enjoying them. People in Salt Lake have a huge problem with it. It doesn’t bother me so much because I don’t forget them and I enjoy enjoying these places without the 2 million people who apparently have forgot.

Today we visited a place called Cascade Springs. The road to the springs is not very trafficked because of the $6 entrance fee. We own the Interagency Pass so we had already paid our money and got waved through like celebrities.

Cascade Springs sits up somewhere around 7,500 ft. From the side of the mountain, water gushes out and forms a series of waterfalls and pools before funneling into a stream and tumbling down the mountain. The Forest Service has since built walk ways and board walks that crisscross and encircle the springs.

It’s beautiful! IMG_20150830_140036

On this trip, we took two of the kids with us that have never visited the springs before. It’s rewarding to share with the excitement as they experienced the place for the first time. And as an added treat, a young moose joined in with us too. I had never seen a moose there before. I love living so near to the mountains.

What places are around have you been neglecting? I recommend playing tourist every once in a while and enjoy locally what others travel long distances to see.

And take lots of pictures to review so you always want to return and never forget.

 

Day 188

Something Worth Remembering

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Hey Kids,

I’m not sure if there are people who wish to live forever.

I don’t mean in the Spiritual, Heaven-dwelling living forever. I mean by not dying. At least not for a long time. I know that no one really wishes to die young but with the average lifespan for men at 72 and 76 for women; are most people OK with that?

I’m not obsessed with death and I don’t really worry about when it’ll come. I hope not for a while and I hope it surprises me when it does. I agree with the late Olympian Bob Richards who wished to be shot at an old age by a jealous husband.

But when death comes, I hope to be remembered for at least a little while. I hope a few people are sad to see me go, or maybe know there will be a few who will miss me on the holidays. More importantly, I hope I did something worth remembering which is more important than being remembered.

I’m amazed by some people and the legacy they leave behind. The fact that their names and feats are remembered for years, centuries, and millenniums after they are gone; is remarkable. It’s never for the person just being a good person, but for what they accomplished and for what they did for humanity- sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But only one person I know of lived a life so respected that even his arm, when lost in battle, got its own grave marker. General Stonewall Jackson. He may have fought a losing war for a lost cause, but he did it with a style that’s still remembered today. He held his ground and inspired those around him to do the same.34a01bc8b5c09fa2a6dac87526d037bc

Over 150 years later, I tip my hat.

 

Day 176