Vanity

Weakness

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Hey Kids,

I’m helpless.

Utterly helpless.

Once I get an idea in my head, it’s going to happen. Good or bad, I’m going to do it.

This last idea started last Wednesday.rootbeeradd

I saw. I imagined. I fixated. And when the opportunity presented itself today, I partook.

A&W root beer. An entire gallon. Poured into frosty mugs I’ve kept in the fridge since last Wednesday after I stared too long at a marquee.

It was good. It is gone.

Yes I shared. A little. But I indulged plenty.

I’m feeling pretty good about it too.

 

Day 156

Cool Summertime

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Hey Kids,

80° Right smack dab in the middle of the summer. July no less. It even snowed in Wyoming.

I know there are some crying foul. My sweetie is one of them. Her Texas blood requires as many 100°+ days as possible and being in Utah, she best get stocked up in July. I, however, am rejoicing in the short repose from the heat.

Writing Pool Side

Writing Pool Side

Today I sat at pool side and experienced a double bonus.

1) Without Hell’s Breathe beating down upon me, I didn’t sweat all over my laptop and mouse, or gum up my touch screen. I got work done and didn’t have to drink 5 gallons of water.

2) There were near no kids swimming in the pool. The last couple of cool days and the very cool night has turned our pool into an ice bath (according to one young fellow who attempted the icy waters). I don’t mean to be a Grinch but I felt aristocratic to be working next to an unused, peaceful pool.

I understand that this cold front will give way to mid to upper 90’s in the next two days and that’s OK. In the spirit of counting my blessings, I am loving this weather!

 

Day 155

Working Vacation

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On the deck, "working"

On the deck, “working”

Hey Kids,

Today was Monday and it was awesome.

I spent today writing.

I had vacation time from my day job I needed to take. So I used my option to take a vacation. My vacation consisted of spending the day at the apartment and writing.

I worked most of the day picking out words, fleshing out characters, and developing storylines.

It was one of the best days ever.

Do I think I should be a full-time writer?

Since I took a vacation to play one, I think yes.

Find a job you love, and you’ll never work another day in your life.

 

Day 154

Head Down

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Hey Kids,

Keeping your head down.

It’s a term I learned recently. It means staying focused, working hard, and not allowing yourself to be distracted.

Even though I learned the term, it hasn’t meant that I’ve put it into practice as much as I’d liked. But I keep trying.

My goal is to write a lot of books and unlike the movies that portray the writer’s life as do nothing but stroll on the beach, drink coffee and wine, and then, when the muse should decide, disappear into a study alone to write beautiful prows as it flows out of your brain and through your fingertips and on to the keyboard, creating words as fast as you can narrate. You print the night’s work, reading and chuckling to yourself as you bathe in the last page and final cleaver words. Sent off to the editor, you begin packing for the world wide book tour, where adoring fans will fan you with palm fronds in between your readings and their ovations. It’s not exactly so, at least based on my experience.

Writing does mean a lot of time alone, yes; but it requires dedicated work. A lot of it

Writing is hard. Not hard like digging ditches for a living, or pouring cement. No, it’s hard in that you must take a thought, turn it into words that someone else can read, and arrive at near the same thought with which you began.

OK, that’s not the hard part. That’s the craft, the fun part.

The hard part is in not letting things get in your way of forming those words (which takes more time to edit, than to write). I’ve posted before that unless you are being paid directly for your efforts by look_a_distraction_design_by_eecomics1an overseer, many people give the effort no respect. Sometimes, it’s the writer who doesn’t respect the time.

Phone calls, texts, posts, drop-ins, family functions, TV, movies, drives, etc. They all distract.

When you keep your head down, you see none of the distractions. Your eyes, pointed down, are focused on what’s at hand. Your body forms a shield about you, bent forward there’s only forward to go. You move ahead. Progress becomes assured. Progress moves you closer to completion and success. And success leads back to focus.

I apologize ahead of time to my friends and family. But I’m important to me and my head’s got to stay down for a little while. I’ll play hard and be with you all when I am. I’ll need breaks. But when I’m at work, let me work so hopefully I can drop your head down while you read the best damned books ever.

 

Day 149

Art History

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Hey Kids,

One of the best things about summer is the street fairs. We attended one today.

Magna, Utah allowed its main street through downtown to be shut down for an annual “Halloween in Summer”. The venders mostly had spooky, magical and otherwise weird themes. It was fun to see people dressed up and walking the streets just to be looked at. There was, of course, food, novelty items, music, and people there to be entertained. And it appeared they were.10580000_917875321606590_20821147509365761_n

For us, we became art. Thanks to an artist willing to draw stick characters for a small fee.

My sweetie and I put our money down and added just a few minutes of held poses.

Now we can relive the day for as long as the paper continues to hold together.

 

Day 145

Dreams?

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Hey Kids,

I attended a car show recently. On my walk through the collection of rare, immaculate, or extraordinary vehicles, I crossed a Lamborghini.

I’m not a connoisseur of exotic cars but I do admire fine engineering and flashy paint. I understand that the cost of these cars easily out value the houses that I can’t afford either.

I don’t pass judgment on people spending that much money on something as inutile as a sports car. I would do it if it was my lot to do so. I’ll admit it.

On this one particular Lamborghini, the license plate is what I found interesting.

“Dream Big”. 1024914935132166918_2020125741

I get it.

Dream big for me does not mean dreams of a car. My dream is to be debt free, a house suitable to what I need, in a place I want to live, and surrounded by people I love.

Some may say this is not dreaming big but it’s huge to me.

On my voyage through life, however, I hope plenty of wheeled blessings are included too.

 

Day 137

The Snake

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Hey Kids,

Today a childhood sports hero of mine passed away. I had no idea it was eminent and then the post appeared on my screen on Facebook.

Kenny Stabler was the first quarterback I ever knew. I knew very little about the actual game, but I knew Kenny Stabler. #12 he wore. Quarterback. Long haired renegade of the NFL’s renegade team. I remember drawing pictures of him and once asking my teacher how to spell Stabler. And always with the caption “Hut, hut, hike.”KennyStabler

The Raiders were IT in the East Bay in the 70’s and I grew up knowing it. Kenny Stabler was the main man.

Later I would become more familiar with Al Davis, and John Madden. I knew and liked many of the other players; Kenny, however was the quarterback. He was my favorite.

He was one of the few players I felt I would truly like to meet one day. Shake his hand, hear the voice for myself, and see that sly smile, like he knew what defense had been called.

I’ve bought other Raider jerseys but never felt worthy to own and wear #12. That would be reserved for a signed jersey on the wall.

I’m amazed how deeply the news has affected me. I didn’t know him or have any chance to meet him in the future. And if a chance meeting would’ve happened, it would have been just a friendly handshake, maybe an autograph. I know that.

But something that I can remember as far back as I can, is gone. Does it take something from my childhood or rather remind me that my own end is closer, I don’t know. Either way, a part is now somehow missing.

An interviewer once cited Jack London’s “Credo”. The connection being that Jack London was also from Oakland. The Interviewer read:

“I would rather be ashes than dust!

I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.

I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.

The function of man is to live, not to exist.

I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.

I shall use my time.”t_39819

He then asked Kenny to comment on what that meant to him. His response after a moment of contemplation, “Throw deep.”

Mr. Stabler, you didn’t win every game you played. You didn’t complete every pass you threw. You didn’t score every touchdown with 50 yard bombs. You didn’t save every game in the last 2 minutes. You threw deep enough, however, that the little boy that still lives inside me, the one with the over-sized helmet and asking his dad if we won yet, misses you already.

Farewell.

 

Day 136

Punch the Clock

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Hey Kids,

I thought a lot about my post yesterday and people who don’t respect a work-at-home job.

It’s not entirely their fault. We can send some mixed messages when we say we’re working. Here are some things that people who work at home can do to help those who might not see it as a real job.

1) At your day job, is your attendance optional? Can you stroll in whenever you want and then leave just as freely? Why do we act like this is how it is when you work for yourself? People understand that when you’re on a job, you are unavailable. No calls, no texts, and no visitors. Crazy, I know. When you’re working for someone else, you have responsibilities that can’t just be dismissed because mom calls. Make you at-home job a real job. Report to yourself, focus on your job, and stay that way when “on the clock”.time_clock

Letting people know when you’re going to be “off” also helps them. They learn your work hours have boundaries and they need to catch you outside of them.

2) No one cares but you. If you’re the boss, be the boss. Get that lazy butt You to work. Take his phone away. Threaten to fire him if he has people showing up on the job site to chat. Be the Boss. If you can’t keep you working or feel it’s important enough, who will? That’s right. Nobody.

3) Leave the house. I know hard to be at-home when you’re not. But it works for me. I am actually taking the time to go somewhere else. The Library, McDonald’s, Starbucks. You’re not just hanging around at the house.

4) Get dressed. No suit required, but not always pajamas. It’s hard to take anyone for real in PJ’s.

So set some hours and be serious about it. Don’t give in to “feel like it or not” Do it. And people will learn you. There will always be a certain percentage of people who’ll never get it, but most of your non-relatives will. Relatives and especially mothers, you’re on your own.

 

Day 135

 

I Don’t Mean to Be Rude

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Hey Kids,

If you work by the hour at a “job”, people generally leave you alone.

Work at home, not so much.JK-Rowling-Be-Ruthless-About-Your-Writing-Days2

Be a writer and your time is comical and there is no thought to infringe upon it.

I guess maybe I should tell people I got a job at Lowe’s. Or McDonald’s.

Unless you have a boss, your “work” is a hobby, an elective, extracurricular.

I apologize to everyone ahead of time. I’m going to be a little bitch at times. I have work to do.

No really.

 

Day 134

Old Girlfriends

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Hey Kids,

I ran into two old girlfriends tonight.

I had no intentions to do so, it just happened.

It was a local event, family fun they said.

But there, a top the grassy hill, amongst all their sisters, I saw them.

Like a blast from the past, the feelings of love long lost rushed my head and flooded my heart.

I swooned.

I stood, like the young man of yesteryear, admiring. Not from a far but near, almost touching. I withheld only because the sign said, “Look but Please Don’t Touch.

Straight from the late 80’s and early nineties and into today; my two loves, my dreams, my once most disirest of desires came back. My eyes almost went to tears.

At the North Salt Lake Car Show, on the lawn of the golf course, in the Corvette section: A 1979 and a 1990 ZR1 Corvette.

1979 Corvette

1979 Corvette

1979- Just like the one I owned and loved. Only marriage to a real woman broke us apart.

1990 ZR1

1990 ZR1

1990 ZR1- The Beast. The King of the Hill. The one that really started the new Muscle Car Era. The Corvette with the motor unlike any other Corvette motor, ever. Even today’s fancy pants motors. The Corvette that re-broke the 400HP threshold. One of the fastest Corvettes ever (you can look it up). The one 1990 wasn’t ready for.

I was ready but couldn’t afford her and have only been able to dream about her ever since she got away.

My two girlfriends from the past.

Thanks for re-visiting. We’ll have to do it again sometime.

Maybe even go for a spin.

 

Day 129