Useless Observations

Shifting to Tomorrow

mikemjensen cars, Useless Observations Tags: , Leave a comment

Hey Kids,

I’ve always loved cars.

My opinion has always been that the best cars were made in the decade of the 60’s, just like me. Big cars, big motors and lots of roar, it’s hard to pick out a bad 60’s car; Corvairs excepted.169_main_l

Although slower and robbed of power by the smog controls and 55 MPH speed limit, the Camaros and Trans Ams of the 70’s slid their way in my childhood and will always remain a heart favorite.

The 80’s brought back fuel injection and the 90’s introduced aerodynamics. And since the 2000’s, the cars have been getting more powerful each year, even to the point to rival the best the 60’s had to offer. And with stability in the corners, AC, and good estimated EPA gas mileage as well.

Hands down, the golden years and all around cars of cars were in the 60’s. Period. Technology aside, they had the power and styling that the car companies of today are still trying to recreate. Those cars were that good.

Now the talk is about electric and self-driving cars. Electric cars will erase all speed records of a fossil burner and self-driving cars will erase the need for a driver.

Being a fan of the loudest, fuel wasting-est, bulkiest cars available, it would be reasonable to assume that I am not at all OK with self-driving cars. That assumption would be wrong. I am in love with the idea. I will give up styling, power, exhaust noise and maybe even power windows if I can set the destination and sleep the rest of the way.

Get off at 5, set the heading and wake up at the beach the next morning? Yes. Sign me up.

 

Post 3-084

Got Your Ears On?

mikemjensen History, Useless Observations Tags: , , , Leave a comment

Hey Kids,

Language changes.

I read an article that asked how much of English would I understand even as little as 300 years ago. I would struggle I admit. When I read Shakespeare (written around 400 years ago), it’s a little tough at first to read smoothly but with a little effort it starts to flow.

Even with a reprogramming of my reading comprehensive skills, however, I still run into words and expressions that cause me to rely on the foot notes on the bottom of the page for understanding. The story line I can follow, but unless I lived back then, there’s no way to fully understand the language without someone to explain it.

Today I watched the movie Smokey and the Bandit. Maybe not the most classic movie in cinematic history but it’s a favorite of mine. Only 40 years old, I wonder how anyone not alive and immersed in the 1970’s CB lingo could understand barely anything said.smokey-and-the-bandit-1977-poster

Anyone could follow the simple story line- run from Atlanta to Texarkana, Texas and back, returning with 400 cases of illegal Coors beer at an outlaw’s pace- but the nuances of the conversations would be completely lost. The lunacy and frustration of the nationally mandated 55 mile speed limit has been blurred by time.

I loved and love that movie. It takes me back. As kids, we lived, spoke, and dreamed in the language of the trucks. We knew the difference between a Smokey, a County Mounty and a Local Yokel. We stopped and watched in awe at any Black Trans Am roaring down the road. We argued over which was better, Peterbilt or Kenworth? We 10-4ed, 10-20’d, and occasionally 10-100’d.

The Bandit was our Shakespeare, the CB radio was our language, and the movie is our history.

 

Post 3-081

Me Before Them

mikemjensen cool stuff, Useless Observations, Vanity Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

Hey Kids,

President Trump signed a bill today, adding manned trips to Mars to the official mission for NASA. In a time when budget hacking are the name of the game, it’s encouraging that space exploration is not dropped to the cutting room floor.

Surrounded by astronauts and law makers at the bill signing, it was suggested that maybe congress could be sent into space. They all laughed and it’s not a thought not too far off from the people’s heart. But why do they get all the fun?

I’d be willing to go to space.Space travel image

I would love to see the blue sky turn black, see the world shrink into a globe, and experience zero gravity. Especially zero gravity. As I mentioned before in a previous post, I create quite the gravitational field and to be free of that would be a godsend to my joints and bones.

And the stars. To see the stars without the haze of the atmosphere and light pollution would be a site I would never forget.

I’m not sure how long it takes for comments such as “shields up” or “engage”, or calling everyone “Number 1” would get old, but I would know by the time I got back.

So if we’re sending anyone to space, sign me up. I can suggest another place for Congress to go.

 

Post 3-081

Balls, On and Off the Court

mikemjensen Life's Truths, Useless Observations, Utah Tags: , , , Leave a comment

Hey Kids,

I apologize ahead of time for this post. It’s just something that’s been bugging me and I have to get it out.

Along with a national trend, apparently, the University Hospital has been running an advertising campaign leading up to this past week and weekend. “It’s not March Madness; it’s Vas madness!”shamead

This is to encourage all those men who are on the fence about getting a vasectomy to finally do it and it just happens to coincide with the week with the first two rounds of the NCAA college basketball tournament. The encouragement comes in the fact that since you can’t move, walk, or entertain the lady; you might as well sit on the couch and watch basketball. All 48 games in 4 days.

If it so happens that you’re done having kids but haven’t got around to heading the boys off at the pass; it’s the perfect crime but it can only be a one shot deal. I mean if you need personal sterilization to get time off work and a weekend free from yardwork, you will only get away with it once.

Or you can state boldly to both boss and spouse, that you are not going to report to work, cut that lawn, or take out the trash. You stake your claim, express your desires, and hold to your dreams.

But then again if you can’t do that, you might not need the procedure anyway.

 

Post 3-080

Space Shoes

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Hey Kids,

Between my work boots, my work out shoes, my casual sneakers, my sandals, my Sunday go-to-meeting shoes, my flip flops and a few more I’ve probably forgotten; I have too many shoes to tell you where they all are at any given moment.

When the season changes, there ensues a major search to find the needed footwear. I think that maybe my life has become too complicated. Or maybe I’m too simpler.nike-space-shoes-cosmic

There is somewhere in the neighborhood of 500,000 items in orbit around out planet. Pieces of rocket, satellites, pieces of satellite, and other discarded items spinning around our planet every day. And it’s someone’s job to track it all.

I don’t know what that guy gets paid or how well he does, but if he uses some program to help him out, I want to know:

Is there an app for that? I need some help.

 

Post 3-078

In One’s Own Universe

mikemjensen Internet, star trek, Useless Observations Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Hey Kids,

Video on demand is today’s reality.

The days of waiting for your seasonal favorites is a thing of the past. You can watch nearly anything at any time. Binge watching is the thing to do. Don’t wait week by week to see your favorite show, wait till the season is over and watch all the episodes in a row. Or the entire series.

I recently discovered that one of my favorite series Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is available on Amazon Prime. And I began watching a few episodes, from the beginning. I guarantee I’ll watch them all.deep-space-nine-concept-sheet-1

I do enjoy Star Trek and enjoy discussing warp cores, Enterprise captains, and space-time continuum at length with fellow Trekies. In fact, discussion such as these makes one feel kind of, well, smart.

However, when you start to watch these shows with a Star Trek Gentile, and you spend way too much time explaining Bajoran/Cardassian politics and how it relates to the Federation and the newly found worm hole; you end up feeling a little bit silly.

 

Post 3-076

And No Dishes

mikemjensen Cooking, Useless Observations Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Hey Kids,

I was shocked when my wife specified that she wanted her birthday cake store-bought and not homemade.dishes This was odd because I feel the exact opposite. I compromised and bought one from a fine bakery. It
appeased us both.

I know the inclination is that homemade should be better, and at times it is. Tacos, Lasagna, and roasts come to mind. (And of course cake.) But as I think of it, there are somethings that just cannot be replicated at home, although they may be still be good.

Pizza. Sorry, no homemade pizza can match a pizzeria. Even those done on the grill. The crust is better, the meats are better, and the cheese- oh the cheese. It just doesn’t cook the same way at home. Sause can be better at home, but that’s only 1 of 4 items of this discussion. And day old pizza- the gap between the two methodologies widens even more.

Donuts. Homemade donuts are great but they’re usually odd shaped and bizarrely finished. And again, like pizza, during the creating process at a dedicated donut making place, the taste and blending of flavors cannot be matched at home. And no one, I mean no one, has ever made an apple fritter that can beat a professional’s apple fritter. I am a fritter eating specialist. Remember my post a few days ago about needing to lose 100 pounds. I wasn’t born this way.

Hamburgers. Yup, I said it. Hamburgers at a hamburger joint are better than anything off your daddy’s grill, especially my daddy’s grill. I don’t know if people try too hard or not enough but the efforts never quite surpass the chef in the pointy hat. I’ve made some good ones at home, but they can only equal but never better the slap-it-on-the fryer burger and yes I want fries with that.

So homemade or eat out? It depends.

 

Post 3-069

I’m an Observer

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Hey Kids,

Today is National Pancake Day!

This morning was a typical morning: sleep as late as you can, rush through the shower, dressing, and bowl of cereal as fast you can so not to be late.National-Pancake-Day

Due to the snow yesterday and call for occasional flurries today, I was bus bound- no motorcycle. The schedule knows no mercy and I had to be at the stop on time. There would be no time for pancakes this morning.

IHOP was even giving away free pancakes for those who stopped in.

Dang it.

But I’m an adult. And being an adult, I can eat breakfast anytime I want.

It’ll be Pancakes for dinner tonight!

 

Post 3-067

Waste Not, Want Not.

mikemjensen Fishing, Useless Observations Tags: , Leave a comment

Hey Kids,

Wasting time is not as easy as it may appear.

It takes hours, days, weeks, a lifetime to learn how to do it properly.

It takes study and a keen awareness of present circumstances to know when to do it.wastedtime

The weather plays a big part as well. How to dress to stay as comfortable as possible cannot be overlooked.

The company you keep is as important as all the rest. Choose wisely.

Equipment: get the best your money can buy.

Location: not all places are created equal.

Now pick your water, grab your rod and reel, sport your sunglasses, rain jacket or hat, invite an equally skilled partner, read the latest reports, and get fishing.

Time is not refundable, don’t waste it not fishing.

 

Post 3-064