parent alienation

Christmas Past

mikemjensen Christmas, Worthless Observations Tags: , , Leave a comment

The day of Christmas rarely holds up to the anticipation and wonderment of Christmas Eve. Once the morning is over, the day seems to take on a slow death.

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My book available free on Amazon Kindle from Dec. 25- 29, 2015. Merry Christmas!

Once the kids had done their thing and out the door to the other family, the two of us were left to making the day spend on our own. I immediately burnt a pound of bacon. I repented with delicious waffles.

We spent time traveling across town to try to deliver gifts on the land of the terrible Ex. And learned once again, for the second time, the evils of custodial parents.

We took a diversion drive into the hills, spotting deer and a fox on the drive. Two feet of snow tested the 4WD of the 4Runner but 4-low got us out.

The Salt Lake Valley can be picturesque especially from the west side looking towards the Wasatch front, yet few ever see if from that side. The west side has many unique characteristics that east-siders will never know.

Baked some fresh rolls to enjoy more of the shredded pork roast from yesterday. Smothered in BBQ sauce, it was just as yummy.

A quick nap brought me to the time to come to work for the.overnight. The last minute shoppers from the 24th had really trashed the store.

I remember when Christmas was the time to wish for the biggest things a kid could imagine. It was on this holiday that the magic might happen. As an adult, I find that the day just passes.

Maybe I’m just too tired and a little hurt and angry about the gifts that will sit unclaimed because I’m not deemed worthy to give them, but I can’t just pretend tonight either that I’m OK with it all.

We had a good day, my baby and I, and we talked and consoled each other. We laughed and we cried. We decided how to fix it next year.

Dad’s Can Do Almost Anything

mikemjensen Life's Truths, Quote Tags: , , Leave a comment

super-dad-shirtHey Kids!

I know that dreams are just dreams, but I know that they are also windows into your true thoughts and feelings. And sometimes a truth that you need to hear. I had such a dream last night, right as the morning dawned. I sprang out of bed so I wouldn’t forget it. Nor lose the feeling I had at the moment.

Parent Alienation is a real thing. It’s hurtful, hateful and permanently damaging. Are there times children are better off by being kept from their mom and/or dad? Sure. There are exceptions to any rule. But under normal circumstances, no. Mom’s can’t be dad’s and dad’s can’t be mom’s. Each can compensate for the other but not entirely. Same-sex marriages? I have no comment because I don’t know. I’m not, and have not been, in one. But I’m sure there’s other dimensions that are different from traditional marriages with kids. Not really the area of expertise for me.

But a Parent denying the love, support, and involvement of another parent is inexcusable. Completely. And it can be done in more than one way. Sometimes obviously. Sometimes subtly.

A parent can be near helpless. When visitations are denied. Calls aren’t returned. Messages ignored. Doors not opened. Holidays forsaken. Entire family relations severed. Thank you’s withheld. Courts uninterested. And all contact becomes restricted, controlled and rare through the custodial parent. The answers are few.

The boy in the dream asked, “What can you do?”. The father, who at long last is allowed to answer, responded. “I’m a dad, I can do almost anything.”

In that thought I have hope. I believe that. I truly do. All roads may not be open. But all are not closed.

Be a dad. Do almost anything.

I can do that. I’m a dad.

*Drops mic. Leaves stage.*