Breathless 18

Hey Kids,

I remember the tension in the operating room. I was no doctor but I knew something wasn’t right. My little girl wasn’t breathing.

The nurses stiffened up, the humor and comments silenced. They bustled about her until the faint baby’s cry called out.Image004p2

I consoled my wife and told her what had been happening. Caesarian births limit what the mother can see and do.

I followed behind the group of nurses and watched over my little girl as they verified her breathing would continue on her own. I prayed. Hours later, I held her.

2 weeks later, my little girl again encountered challenges to breathing. Her lungs and body still not accustomed and conditioned to fight for breath, would just stop. She would turn blue. An honest blue. We rushed her to the Children’s hospital.

Doctors whisked her away from us and I stood on the outer edge of the emergency room station, straining to hear and understand what could be the reason. A virus called RSV they said.

Eventually she returned to my arms and again I held her tight and said my prayers over her. She returned home and has breathed without problems ever since.

Today she turned 18. This time it’s me who feels like my breath has been taken away as I stand on the periphery of her life straining to hear and understand if she’s ready for adulthood. I pray that she is. And I pray that eventually I’ll get to hold her again.

Happy Birthday Little Girl. I love you.

 

Day 242

Tag No More

Hey Kids,

I just read that a school district has banned the game of tag due to safety concerns.

I realize that times are not the same as when I was in school, but I’m not sure what exactly has happened.

I played lots of games of tag, kick the can, football, baseball, dodge ball, slaughter ball, and Red Rover and apart from a few twisted ankles, slight bruising, and occasionally a little blood, no one died. The injured usually made back to the field of battle too.648131-bubbleboy

Being a kid should be fun. A few tears along the way, yes, but how else can one compare the joys of fun?

Looking down the barrel of 50 years old does have its drawbacks but I thank God I got to grow up in an age when I was allowed to do so. Without being wrapped in bubble wrap.

 

Day 214

My Lake

Hey Kids,

I moved around a lot during my upbringing.

Although a little skewed, I attended 10 schools in my 13 years of public education. Yes that includes Kindergarten. No I didn’t repeat a year. Nice try.

During that time, it’s hard to grow attached to any one place. So when I find a place to which I do grow attached, rest assured it’s a good one.

During the years of raising kids, the recreation money wore thin and we found many hours recreating within the minivan and driving into the mountains that border the Salt Lake valley.

Within these Wasatch Mountains is a canyon called Big Cottonwood and 17 miles up the canyon, where it ends at nearly 9,000 ft. elevation, lies a small mountain lake called Silver Lake.

During the hundreds of trips, we saw the improvements to the trail and boardwalk around it. We’ve been there during scorching summer days and have tromped through knee-deep snow banks. I pushed strollers and later begged kids to slow down. I’ve dragged teenagers out of the car and watched them reluctantly enjoy themselves.

We’ve seen moose and deer, watched the beaver build their dams and lodges, and watch the hundreds of trout rise in the evenings for their daily gorge of insects.

Silver Lake grew to my most favorite place in the world. Every step holds a memory. I know the trees, the banks of the lake, and the wood planks of the boardwalk as if they were family. I can tell a story related to every point on the one mile trail. It’s a picture board of my life with my kids.

Those days and events have stopped now. The chronicle of my children’s life will no longer be measured against the backdrop of this beautiful setting. The visits have dropped in frequency and always void of children.

In less than two weeks Silver Lake, however, will be the site of the wedding to my new bride.

The past will remain in the past and in my memories. The future lies before me. The thing that will remain consistent is my favorite place in the whole world shared with those I love the most.

 

Silver Lake Utah

Silver Lake

Day 209