I had it all figured out; the world at my feet; master of my domain. And then:
What a helpless feeling it is standing outside of your own door unable to get in. It’s like showing up at a friend’s or family member’s house and realizing they aren’t home and you have to wait like a beggar outside the door.
In the case of your own home, the neighbors all look at you in that “this doesn’t look normal” tone of look. You try to act normal, but can only maintain normalcy for so long. Everyone knows you don’t stand outside at your vehicle this long.
I had a good 3 hours before anyone would be getting home, so I left and hung out at the local McDonald’s and got some computer work done. Got some good work done too.
The pain continued the next day as I had to find my boss who has a key that can open my office. Of course, he’s not immediately available and again the staff is looking at me with that weird look wondering why I’m carrying around my riding gear. I offer no explanation and no questions are asked, but I know they know. I use the time to visit with the staff and check in on them. It was good. They seemed to respond well to my interest in their day right at the start.
I get so set in my routines that it seems overwhelming when it changes just that little bit. When that fraction of control is taken, the whole world feels inside out. And then you notice that the inside out isn’t so bad.
I need to break out of some routines. Not necessarily lock my keys in places I can’t get to, but change things up.